Some individuals do not cope really well with staying at home all day. They need the stimulation and distraction the work brings, otherwise the frustration gets the better of them. And I belong to this category. ~Anonymous~

I don't belong to that category. I think i can cope well by staying at home all day. I don't need the stimulation at work and i won't feel frustrated without the distraction that office work brings (just thinking about it makes me stressful already). At home, there's a lot of chores to be done as well. Not to mention the distraction when ur lil one is crying for ur attention. I'm not going 'kuku' yet while staying at home for 60 days tending to my daughter's need.

The thing is I don't really like the idea of being far from my daughter. She's still 2 months..i can really get used to the idea of working perhaps after she's 1 year. Why do we get only 60 days? It's not enuff!! At least 90 days with gaji seems ok.

I'm not allowed to bf my daughter during the day, bc we want her to get used to bottle. Altho we've trained her with bottle since Day 3, she still refused it unless she's really really hungry. She wud cry for 1 or 2 hours-stop for 15 mins-continue crying for anor 1 hour-stop-continue until she gets her milk bar. Just like what happened just now. It's just so heart wrenching to hear her cries knowing that she wants to get her hands on milkbar when she has every rights to it.

My other concerns are the 'what if' s...

WHAT IF..

• I'm not the first person to see her crawl/stand/walk?
• I'm not the first person to hear her call mama/abah?
• She is confused that my mom & dad is her mama/abah and called them mama/papa instead?
• She don't want to cling to her milk bar anymore as she got confused with the bottle?
• She gets more affectionate with my mom/dad? and she don't want us anymore?
  

OK..giler negative thinking kan?
I shd be thankful that my mom & dad is around to take a good care of my daughter. One way or another..i still need to work as i'm a woman with lost of needs and Malaysia got so many warehouse sales (especially books & baby stuff) that i hv the urge to splurge on. Alright...I hv to work tomorrow. Nk pegi gosok baju keje..