I didnt blog for 6 days! It's simply because, i'm supertired out of shopping/attending open house/running away fr open houses/trying to get some rest.

Terase begitu weird kerana i dont hv an appointment with my doctor this weekend. Usually i met her every 2 weeks. But, my next scan is scheduled in anor 2 weeks time. It's either i begin to miss my doctor or i miss the confident feeling that my lil one is happily growing inside. I think both..

4 weeks after the last appointment rase spt 4 bulan lamanyer. Especially, in this busy+supertired mental+physical condition lebih terase mcm I NEED TO SEE MY DOCTOR & MY LIL ONE so i wud be deeply relieved that he/she is ok despite my stress level and work condition.

Actually, during this week..i dont feel my lil one moving that much anymore(kdg2 je terase, itupun wondering..was it a gas or was it the lil one?) Adakah dia tido? krn mommynyer active gerak2..so he/she was rocked to sleep? Even at nite, bukan ke sepatutnyer when u r about to sleep time tu la the lil one shd be moving and rolling around? Bc i did feel this, ttp since working..my lil one seems behaved?? [..hmm...being me..i will keep on worrying until i get to see my lil one moving during an ultrasound] Huwaa!! i want to see my doctor!!


p/s: Kb mmg suke jumpe Doktor dr kecik. It's a no surprise to those who knew her really well.

Your Stress Level is: 76%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now. Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out. Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times.

How Stressed Are You?

That is my stress level for today, and the percentage ain't do justice for what i feel right now and what happened today. Kepala ini berdenyut2 and i can't sleep properly or eat properly for almost 3 days in a row. Why? it's bc of my new job. It's not that i hate my job [but i hate it, in my condition like this - i'm weak for not having a proper rest and not eating well maka jadik la not energetic, less aggressive krn workload yg byk giler selori files perday, energy tlh di sapped for trying to cope with new things, hving to learn fast, decide fast n constantly worried for my lil one inside. To top it off having to deal with 1 typical gomen mkck worker yg berkire, thinks she is the boss, give like ZILLLLIOOooonn answers to my question and talked more than me!!! and also, there's anor 1 typical gomen guy who went m.i.a fr work about 2mths n who's coming back tomorrow as my staff [what? he thinks this is his gfather's office?]. It's a crazy workload and 2 lunatic staff to be given to a coping 1st time pregnant lady whom is petite ok!!! I'm soooo stressed, it's just too much!!! The first day, i cried my eyes out at nite..because my tummy feels so tight & painful -Dh sudah speechless & worried, second day at work was tiring like hell i hv a truckload stuff to deal with till 5:30 which left me with no appetite, vomiting out of stress and cannot sleep at nite due to stress, the third day is getting worse..i was extremely tired in a.m- feel like crying but i know once i start crying (jwpnnyer takkan bole keje today), my brain stops working & i keep calling my good fren Mr S for help like more than 7 times, my low abdomen starts to feel painful like cramp tibe2 in the middle [i was like...uh, adakah ini mcm perasaan nk terberanak?] thank god..after drinking half a bottle of water the pain subside, and now...i'm having a stress headache [the kind of back of neck pain sampai tulang belakang & whole body is aching].


Look..what i found here:

Job stress, noise, long periods of standing and work weeks of more than 40 hours all greatly increase the risk of giving birth to premature babies, a study has found. Dr. Johnson said. "My recommendations to all working women who are pregnant is that they not stand for prolonged periods of time, that they not work for more than eight-hour days or for more than 40-hour weeks."

Barbara Luke, an associate professor at the University of Michigan and an author of the study, said the decision on when to leave work during pregnancy should be based on a woman's job and medical history.

She said it was very important to avoid these risks during the second half of pregnancy.

...See, mungkin betul the cramp today is the first hint sign of contraction. Maybe my lil one is saying "mommy slow down, don't over-test me..don't push yourself too hard, ur stress level is increasing and it's suffocating me". *sigh...even if i hv a doctor's recommendation, what can i do with it???? i hv no choice...bc the workload is fixed for me [if per day there are a truckload of files..i do not hv a choice but to deal with it.] ...I hv no choice except the only alternative is to go for unpaid leave and causing trouble to my colleagues. Hmmm..it's a hard decision to make.

I've been telling myself to hold on, wait & see...but what am i waiting for? for stress to subside or for a strong signal to stop? ...i guess..which comes first. It's very risky tho playing this kind of waiting game.

No, i'm not whiny, or trying to runaway fr work responsibilities, or trying to find excuse to stay at home [i've experienced the worst thing before this job and i survived for 1 year or maybe more if i was not transferred]. I do feel worried if tidak di confirm (tp fhm kalau org tanak confirmkan..krn byk sgt mc tanpa sengaja), i will feel guilty if i cause trouble to my good colleagues, i will feel guilty towards my boss and staff juga. But...i feel lebih worried with my condition+ the lil one's condition. Sekian, my complaint for today.

Do u know the difference between 2D,3D & 4D ultrasound?

2D (2 dimensional) image is the flat black and white picture that looks like an outline or skeletal image of your baby you get at your diagnostic ultrasound.
3D (3 dimensional) image will look more realistic, like a detail photograph of your baby.
4D (4 dimensional) actually uses the amazing 3D technology to view your baby in "live motion" like a video. 4D is when you get to see movements, such as kicking, waving, sucking their thumb, or even smiling.

Me? I only know about 4D bc of its orangey color and the baby pic is clear. I've heard of 3D but not 2D ultrasound (konon terlalu advance la sampai 2D tak pernah dgr). All i know is, all black and white sonograms is a sonogram la kan?...i dunno whether it's 2D ke, 3D ke except that i'm planning for a 4D at 26 weeks. Rupenyer, all these while my sonograms semuanye in 3D. Ape rasenye buat in 2D ek?? i wonder..

So, the plan is to get a 4D later. Ttp, God has something in stored either for us or maybe my mom (whom we dragged along so she can see her future cucu in action). Dgn bestnyer, at 15 weeks da dpt 4D without me having to seek for it and it's cheap like RM90 shj!! mungkin bc the gynae know i spent too much already or am like a loyal patient ke..tataula. U see, at other places..the price is quite expensive, depending where'd u go: kat KL 3 diff hospitals aje ranged around rm150-rm200. Expensive jugak what? Tp, i guess..all 1st time parents wouldnt mind spending their dime for the lil one insidekan? As long as we cud see the face, the lil hands wiggling, and the movement.

Jdnye, my mom seronok sungguh dpt tgk her future 1st cucu yg sgt active (pusing2, melompat, dan 2x percubaan utk menyorok) in 4D. A shy & active baby. We agreed that our lil one has a prominent feature like one of us (siapakah itu? me or the daddy? itu di rahsiakan dulu..until we r 100% sure of it = until our lil one is born ;P). And...about the gender? well...not yet confirmed kerana our lil one is too active moving inside. Perhaps by the next scan baru boleh nmpk clearly, itupun if our lil one tgh relax2 tak active. Yaaay!! we r using 4D after this to see our lil one:):):) To me, it's the best technology so far for someone like me whom is always worried about the lil one's condition

Note: About my job? tidak perlu bercerita pjg lebar. It's stressful giller for the mean time. Thank god i hv a godsend colleagues yg sedia membantu.

It's really wonderful hving pregnancy info at the tip of ur finger. I hv lots of preggie books [inherited from my mom, gifts from my mom frens, and sweet DH even bought me preggie mags apart from his motoring mags - to tell u the truth, as much as i appreciate books tp during this pregnancy...i just cant stand them]. So, what i did almost every week is hop on one website to anor reading about the progress of my lil one. Eventho almost every website is having the same info, tp ape2 jek la..since i prefer surfing over books & i craved for an info. I like this website, it has a baby illustration in 3D static, 3D rotatable and 2D from week 1 up to 42.

Am at my 15 weeks now & it says that:
Although many women don't start feeling the baby move until the 17th week (or later), your baby has been having his own party in the amniotic sac he calls home. If you feel a little flutter in your belly this week, don't discount it as gas or hunger. It could be your babe banging around.

Actually, i start feeling a little movement quite early around 13 to 14 weeks. Once, it felt so solid mcm ade daging yg tgh rotating inside and later it's just a gentle flutter every now and then ikut time (it's waaay different than a gassy/windy feeling in ur tummy). However, am still waiting for a stronger thumping/kicking from our lil one:)

Last nite i caught DH browsing thru baby names while completing his office work. Awww...so sweet la DH ku ini. The person whom i perceived as sgt cool & collected dalam ape2 situasi sekalipun. I never thot this cool person, excited rupenyer for our lil one and browsing thru baby names. I have yet to find baby names bc i think it's still too early, besides i didnt know for sure our lil one gender. Tp, whatever....why spoil the happy party? so, i jumped in and joined DH browsing thru baby names. It warms the cockles of my heart to see him glowed when he suggested a name. Deep down inside, i know..he's going to be a wonderful dad.

HAPPY NEWS!!

My lil one is gonna hv anor fren apart from lil Aqeel. Yeayyy!! One of my good fren is preggers too. This is so wonderful, anor baby is on the way:) I think i supposed to keep it a secret..ngehngehngeh...but i just cant..besides she didnt say the magic word. So, am gonna share it here very discreetly ok ;p

:The Good Friend is Kamie:)

Baby you take my breath away...

I'm breathless especially after eating [like..now], hot, uncomfy when sitting for 10 minutes, tidak selesa bersila apatah lagi bersimpuh, what more baring..(terlentang, mengiring kiri or kanan..semua tidak kene). huhu..tiada position yg selesa.

I started to show. I pointed at my lil bump to DH before we went out for tea "...i looked funny, nmpk buncit..maybe i shd changed my tops." DH replied "No need to change. U r just pregnant not buncit without a cause."

[grinning]...i went out happily with my lil bump:):):)

I am so free & energetic la kan that i posted this 2nd entry!

Every blog i surfed, all talks about raya celebration but my blog. Hence, the need to talk about raya here so as not to feel left out sgt. Huhu..tah hape2.

Anyway, am the grinch of raya this year. I didnt celebrate it like i shd, but i do give out packets of raya to my nieces, nephews & lil babies [am not so grinch after all]. No, i didnt balik kg to DH hometown [as i am adviced not to travel far]. I didnt go to open houses or visit my relatives or DH relatives [am afraid if i puke infront of the lovely dishes]. I didnt make any cakes or even cookies [i'm weak & easily tired to even flip the recipe book]. I didnt wear bj kurung or even kebaya during raya [i dont feel comfortable wearing one]. I even feel scared if ppl call me and tanya "nk dtg raya rumah boleh?" [because i dont feel fit to entertain ppl..nnt disangka rude pulak].

Cian my DH, supposedly this raya shd be our first raya together as a married couple [shd wear same bj colour, shd pay a visit to old relatives, shd balik kg sama2, shd prepare raya dishes and cookies, shd perhaps host an open house for our friends & relatives]. Hehehe..tp it did not happened that way [a bit amused here, sbb one can plan lots of things but one just never know what GOD had in store for u]. My first raya, MIL & SIL yg kene dtg dr kg to visit me. It's funny, bercanggah dr adat beraya yg normal, but it's wonderful because i got to celebrate my first raya with the ppl i love. Just my dh, parents, siblings, MIL & SIL -one big happy family under one roof. Cool what? takyah beraya asing2:) It shd be like this every raya, barula jimat costs ;P Anyway, next raya abis la kene pusing semua rumah relatives to make up for my MIA this raya.

As of today, i got 3 open house invitations. Am contemplating whether to go or not to go. Physically, am getting better and alhamdullilah semakin energetic these few days, but...am not sure if i feel like going. We'll see how..perhaps by the end of this week my hormone becomes better, more mentally stable [i'm actually super garang, bitchy & bossy with this pregnancy & senang menangis jugak. Owh dont fret, i know it's not good for the baby...but, its not me!! it's the hormones..huhu. I'm a sweet person before this pregnancy tau] & behave like a good mommy.

Hands off my belly please...

I know people are fascinated by a pregnant woman's stomach... but WHY do they feel that they need to touch? I feel it's a complete violation of privacy, not to mention the fact that if it wasn't acceptable before pregnancy, what makes people think that it's ok to do that when one is pregnant?

I found this perfect questions in one of yahoo! answers. Iye!! sgt bersetuju sbb i am wondering the exact same thing. Wait a second...before i got pregnant..did i touch any pregnant woman's stomach?....lemme think a second....Nope. I never touch any preggers belly...owh, except this one time..when aqeel's mommy asked me to feel lil aqeel's rolling in her stomach.

Back to the questions. I never understand myself, why ppl especially makcik2 sgt la suke nk raba2 perut. Imagine, skang ni raya season right? So, almost EVERY SINGLE MAKCIK2 (yg baru kenal ke or tak kenal ke; kalau yg close relative tu still leh dimaafkan) yg dtg beraya at my house..will use the opportunity to touch my belly!! (my belly dah la rase tegang and i feel very uncomfortable..lagi nk pegang2), *sigh!! it wud be too rude kan to snap at them or slapped away their itchy hands? It's incredibly annoying , cuz u can't do anything and lebih annoying i'm not even showing yet!! cemane la nnt when i started to show?

I think, next time..when someone touch my belly, I touch theirs back - whether they are pregnant or not! and hopefully they'll get the hint and at least ask the next time they want to touch it.

This entry is for strangers dan relatives yg tidak close sama sekali. I love it, when DH touched my belly secara tibe2(i know that it's his attempt bonding with our lil one) but other ppl???? even my own mother or sister did not touch my belly without asking..inikan org lain yg suke2 nk touch without asking first kan? So, ppl..next time pls ask nicely before u touch a pregger belly. Am sure if u ask, the pregger lady will think twice to say no.

P/s: btw, it's never too late kan, sbb i am yet to wish : SELAMAT HARI RAYA & MAAF ZAHIR BATIN ;)

The facts on stretch marks!

Pregnancy can also bring unexpected bodily changes. You may start to notice red or purplish streaks forming on your body, most commonly on your belly and breasts. They are a sign that the skin is stretching to accommodate and nurture the life growing inside. Photographs of pregnant women in the media typically present images of women whose skin is blemish-free. But the true picture is that up to 90% of women will have some stretch marks as a result of pregnancy.

It sounds scary and the real thing is even scarier (U can view it here: stretch marks gallery). TIDAK!! i dont want to live my whole life with a permanent stretch marks!! i can bear with the operation scars yg spt c-sec (cuz it's waaay below, and one can still wear super super low jeans without the scar in sight) BUT u cant hide stretch marks. How am i ever going to feel sexy again if i hv stretch marks? Scary ok. Other things like linea nigra, spider veins, mask of pregnancy or even acne, semua itu adalah temporary but not this one.

What did i use to prevent stretch marks during pregnancy?

I used 2 products: Bio Oil and Natural Stretch Oil from Earth Mama Angel Baby twice daily.

First, i used Bio oil for my op scar. The oil absorbs easily, the smell is so-so to me, eventho my sister claimed that the smell is nice. Well, all i can say is it doesnt smell like oil, so i can tolerate it. This product is good for the skin, not only it helps to prevent stretch marks, but also scars, uneven skin tone, ageing skin, and dehydrated skin.

Second, i rubbed and massaged the Natural Stretch Oil all over my body. It is a herb-infused oil that feels so light, no sticky feeling and absorbs quickly on application. The best thing is..with this oil, i smell nice and i feel soooo good as it has a sweet smell and calming effect. So, for expectant mommies i really2 recommend this product from Earth Mama Angel Baby. It's a 2 thumbs up for the soothing smell and let's hope the oil really prevents stretch marks as they claimed. Am certainly going to get more products from Earth Mama Angel Baby for me and my lil one as it use the highest quality oils and QAI certified organic herbs. Furthermore, the products are cruelty-free, certified vegan, kosher, and 100% toxin-free !!

WARNING ALERT : am about to talk mainly about pregnancy for the time being.

I DISCOVERED DURING MY 1st trimester PREGNANCY:

1. My hormone goes upside down. Basically, i dislike everything that i love to do before pregnancy. Example: u won't see me online everyday, i dislike Mcdonalds, KFC, no magazines, books or even a newspaper, I chucked away all choc bars, i didnt pick up most phone calls anymore, and etc. I am just not being myself.

2. I became anti-social. Hmm..perhaps it's because of the morning sickness or perhaps it's because i just got tired of explaining things to ppl. Eg: Why are u on MC? Pity u la..blablablabla. Eh perut tak besar pun? *sambil cube nk raba my perut (hello makcik!! if by 2nd months am already showing, i wud not be able to walk by 9 months ok! yg bertanya ni mostly mokcik2 yg da pregnant. Tanya mcm tak pernah pregnant). Sometimes, the question is so annoying and pointless menyebbkan this pregnant lady GRrr... Well, i think it's the hormone.

3. Being pregnant is SCARY. Why did i say so? Ur responsibility begins early in pregnancy not when the baby is delivered [when the baby is delivered there goes ur nite out with DH]. U have to take care of the lil one inside you (make sure u eat on time, make sure u eat healthy foods [no junk food/fast food], i hv to chucked away all my lovely high heels, get a lot of rest, i can't wear my fave jeans, u hv to be extra careful because the lil one is still fragile inside u especially in the 1st trimester, make sure u eat ur vitamins, and etc. Things might look or sound easy, but it's not especially when one has a morning sickness. So, my point is...make sure u r fully prepared if u really want to get pregnant. If the annoying makcik2 keep on asking "bile lagi?" "da ade isi ke"..ignore kan aje ok. They won't stop yapping those questions eventho when u r already pregnant. Believe me, there will be MORE annoying questions from them.

4. I became fussy..err..ok..ok..EXTRA FUSSY. i am extra extra choosy when it comes to food. Blame me not. I tried eating apa2 aje food yg ade depan mata, ttp direject oleh my lil one. Hasilnye, i will be hungry and hv to wait for a few hours until my appetite came back. Due to that, i hv to eat things that i feel like eating. uhh..ok ade this one nite during fasting month pukul 2 pagi, i waked DH sbb nk nasi ayam. Huhuhu.. it's not mengidam...it's the only food that i can hold down.

5. Since i mentioned about craving. Did i hv one ek? OOOoo..yes..yes. I hv cravings too: Mangga mude infront of my house [mangga kt tmpt lain or kedai tanak!] and cupcakes!! The craving is not that hard to find, since the mangga mude cume petik je depan umah and i bought cupcakes from cupcake chic to ease my craving.

6. As the uterus is expanding, every morning i'd wake up with the tegang feeling at my lower abdomen. It's quite painful & uncomfortable kerana rase tegang and i hv to get up on my side. My boobs jugak tersgtla sakit [No touchy2, it's a restricted area].

Uh..all the above sounds negative ek, let me talk about my positive discovery pulak.

7. DH become so loving and extra affectionate. I LIKE IT of course...ttp ade la jugak rimas sikit. I think DH is trying to manja2 before our lil one conquer the mommy. Muahaha. Owh, DH is extra frisky too..i think he found me sexy agaknyer. Tp ade org ckp, if the husb is frisky itu bermakna the baby is a boy. Iye ke?

8. I get MOST of the things that i want!! Seperti princess (krn itu, i bought myself a princess headband utk meng annoyedkan the ppl around me) ;P ngehngeh. Mama, papa, MIL, bro & sis especially tidak dapat hesitate or ignore this pregnant lady wishes dan sedia membantu apa shj dgn begitu cepat sekali. Sounds great right??? I tell u, the reality is even better!! Hahahaha. Oleh itu...ambil la kesempatan secara berpada2 ok;P

9. Undeniably, my FAVE moment is the scanning part;> I just cant wait to see what our lil one has in store for us. At 9wks, our lil one even waved its hand at us during scan [maybe dia dgr bising2 and tau all of us were looking]. Sungguh cute. Even my gynae got extra excited and recorded the moment.

10. Am at the end of my 1st trimester now:), so...all the emotionally disturbed stuff as stated above almost came to an end. I began to feel like myself and enjoying myself more. The morning sickness has almost gone. I am not so choosy anymore [a lil bit choosy shj], i can eat at least a sundae or fries at Mcdonalds, i can drink a rootbeer float at A&W again and i can eat my fave lauk asam pedas again without being rejected:) and most important, i feel like blogging and surfing again.